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December 5, 2016

My breakthrough moment.

These past few weeks have been a whirlwind. My dad has been in the hospital for almost a month now (he’s okay), it’s a heavy season at work and I just really haven’t had any time to spend with my boyfriend like I’d like to even though we live together. My self care has been lacking. All of this has made me feel like I’m trapped underwater and today on December 5th, I feel that I’ve finally reached a point where I can see the light above the water. This is my breakthrough moment.

December 5th is a significant date for me. 

It is a day where historically, I have experienced a ton of loss and confusion. So, it is interesting that today is the day where I find myself being optimistic when I would rather go back to bed and be sad. My grandmother Daphne (Nana) passed away in 2010 on December 5th and it turned my world upside down. I had never experienced that type of hurt or loss before. Then, 5 years later a sweet soul, friend and sorority sister of mine was taken on the same day. This is a shock that I’m still dealing with a year later. Though I still don’t understand why these things have to happen, I have found clarity in reflection. Here’s what I learned.

  • Change is something that is inevitable. We can never really be prepared for what tomorrow may bring. It will come to you whether you are ready or not. But what we can do is always work on be being the best versions of ourselves and doing our part to leave the world a little better than we found it. Fear of change can leave us stagnant. Embrace it and make it a part of your journey.
  • Grief comes in waves. All you can do is ride the wave and find what helps you sail smoothly.
  • Find positivity in all things. This is by far the hardest part, but it has brought the most clarity and healing to my life. Trying my best to think positive even on my worst days has changed my life. It changes your mood instantly and on the days where I feel that I can’t be positive, I don’t beat myself up about it.
  • Come Together, Don’t close yourself off. We thrive in community. If you need a hug seek one out and be that shoulder for someone else to lean on. Last year when my chapter sister passed away, I was in New York away from everyone. I did everything in my power to get to Florida just so I could be with my other sisters. We held a candlelight vigil and ceremony for her. Even though we were all devastated, I think being around each other and going through it together really made a world of difference.

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Love a little harder. Love with all you’ve got. 

Care more. Be a little nicer.

Forgive that person.

Do that thing you’ve been wanting to do forever. Take that chance.

Time waits for no one. It is up to us to make the best of the time that we have. From this day forward I will make it my mission to live my best life and I encourage you to do the same. Do what makes you happy. If something makes you sad, reflect on it and learn from those feelings and move on. Do what you have to do to thrive.

Here are some affirmations to help you:

  1. I will find positivity in all things.
  2. Time won’t wait and neither will I.
  3. I embrace change and treat it as part of my journey.
  4. I love myself with everything I have.

Custom Affirmation cards available here.

Love always,

A. Marie 

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