July 23, 2017

Is your self love in check?

The phrase “self-love” is so popular today, but what does it really mean? People will say “you don’t love yourself if you xyz or abc.” But, they are forgetting one important detail. The first word in the phrase self-love is SELF! You define what self-love means for you. To me, self-love is something that is fluid. It grows and adapts with you as you grow. You need different things at different points in your life. But, at any point, I think it is important to keep these three things as a base:

  1. Self-Understanding
    Know yourself. Know your worth. Be honest with what you are feeling and take the time to learn what makes you tick and why. Also, do not beat yourself up for your choices or actions!
  2. Healing
    Take time to heal yourself. Find out what that means for you. Whether it is a personal journey or by seeking professional help, constantly healing is important to have a strong foundation for self-love.
  3. Accountability
    Hold yourself accountable. This is one of the most important actions you can take for yourself. If you want to be a vessel for love, you need be constantly taking action. Make this a priority and check in with yourself often.

How can you tell if you’re lacking in the self-love department?

  1. Are you comparing yourself to others or judging yourself?
  2. Do you hate your body or yourself?
  3. Do you make choices and end up regretting them?
  4. Do you get stuck in toxic situations?
  5. Do you have difficulty expressing yourself?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it may be time to step back and evaluate your relationship with self. Here are a few ways you can get back on track



  1. Say “I love you” to yourself often
    We spend so much time trying to find love and give love to others. When’s the last time you showered yourself with love? I’m not talking about buying things or a spa day. Make a list of the reasons why you’re awesome!
  2. Have “me time”
    “Me time” is so important. Being around others 24/7 can be more draining than you may realize. Spend time alone and do things you enjoy. Be comfortable with yourself.
  3. Recognize negative self-talk + replace it with positive reinforcement
    Start replacing the “I suck”‘s with “I’m still learning” and the “I’m not good enough”‘s with “I’m still growing”. Don’t talk down to yourself you might start believing it.
  4. Get Active
    Feeling good physically can help you feel better mentally. Exercise relieves stress, improves memory, helps you sleep better and boosts your mood overall.
  5. Try New Things
    Learning new skills makes you feel good because you feel like you are improving yourself. This will help build confidence and break up any negative patterns.

Remember self-love is true love and it is not perfect. Be gentle with yourself.

The information in this post is provided for informational purposes only, and should not be used to replace the specialized training and professional judgment of a health care or mental health care professional.

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